s e j n b o h e m i ae r o s a
thinking about Bataille-animals and silence... I want to enter this place more as an aminal, but my very thought removes me... and yet in this silence we hold, an approach is possible.
By changing level of perception, staying close to the ground, the landscape & the track I follow becomes infinitely more detailed & complex. Down at level of silvery suspended spider webs (at one point a delicate light spider lands on my bare arm, crawls for a moment & then vanishes...) they are floating nets, gossamer architecture, upon which spiders dance and hunt.
...tasted and smelled mushrooms, grasses...felt my nose & mouth as the soft wet
muzzle of a deer or rabbit...(herbiverous olfactory) i take up a stick & in my
prehensile fingers it becomes a tool, again I am homo sapien. I plunge the
stick through the layered cushion of pine needles & hear the cracking &
splitting open of this dense strata down into a mulchy rich layer that becomes
earth, smelling of another type of life rich with mocroscopic organisms,
microbes...an invisible universe.
poked a fine stick and then my finger into a smooth clear spider web more like
a jelly, fine & slippery which disappeared on my finger, dissolved.
a cool wind lifts the fine hairs of my skin-i smell its fresh new temperature, I hear its movement among the trees and grasses..birds. a human/animal in time & silence can be lifted from the usual patterns of thought & movement. a finer way to touch the ground, with alert attendance to the less visible & to a sediment of out prehistory both before language & beyond language.
NH
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12-9
(drawing)
touch the spirit
on our way
...to cows
...and as a mountain
ash
feel your body, use your senses HERE & NOW!
ZRB
Day 2
Was it just me, or did everyone feel a bit heavy this morning? Perhaps the damp
weather soaked into our bodies...opening circle extended version, (with more
detail)
and then relaxation exercises helped( though indoors and on carpet).
We have gotten used to not talking now, it doesn’t feel like we are waiting for the moment to blurt everything out vocally, and a more subtle communication is emerging with practical things then the over-animated sign language of yesterday.
In a lounge room, slow movement of hand opening as the other is closing over 5
minutes, then standing up to sitting position over 10 minutes. Blindfold
journey around house for 1 hour: hard surfaces and domestic environment little
uninspiring for me at first, but (we?) soon cured this boredom by subverting the
usual experience and behaviours of an orderly house-taking on its qualities,
swinging and creaking through doorways. Without seeing, the feeling world
exploded forth in a surrealist adventure, made more ridiculous by the
underlying awareness of the usual purpose and place for these familiar items-the
toilet, hard-boiled egg...how they are located in relation to the body. I had a
delightful time in the end, chuckling inwardly about this odd isolated community
in someone else’s house, rainy forest outside, and all us eager for
experimenting with sensory experience.
We then drew 3 vertical lines, 1 at “natural” speed, 2nd more slowly, 3rd taking
15 minutes, all with eyes closed and standing with awareness of body’s
verticality, making visible the movement of the body.
A single file procession in raincoats. walked silently together to the station-yes
it feels like we are doing things together now, ocmfortably quiet, knowing each
other’s names. Walking thought the majestically beautiful sumava forest-boughs
of pine trees drooping with the burden of their bushy wet foliage in contreast
witht eh bright light leaves of beech trees that seem to hover unsupported in
the air.
The forest is dense and breathing in the mist and light drizzle, air isrface
just b damp and cool. Walked alongside a “primeval” area of forest-how old is
that, I wonder?
Came to a lake that for a moment I couldn’t comprehend- i thought I` was looking
at air that was shimmering a little, like a mirage int he desert. It was a
perfectly reflective surface just below the level of the banks.
We held pieces of paper to our chests and drew a charcoal circle on it as we
walked around the lake.(not an easy task, through a stream and around boundary
fences demarking the “primeval” area) expressing our feelings of walking the the
drawn line
Much verticality in the forest!
And many experiences of DAMP:
moss, leaves, rotting undergrowth, all sorts of crazy fungi, drizzle, mist and
our noses---
GT
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BAG OF BONES,BISOKU, BLIND-FOLD AND A JOURNEY FROM VIMPARK TO SUMAT MOUNTAINS
AND A SMALL CAT NEEDING COMPANY IN KABORA HUT
-creaky bones melt
3 hands make for a lighter presence
-opening and closing hands one is moving faster than the other
-rising and falling and creaking of leather chairs-a presence of old being
trying to shift upwards but being pulled down
sounds of small air pockets bursting
-Blindfold-60 minutes of silent sensation measuring, intimate activity that is
demanding an audience yet should be private.
Try to make Earl Grey blindfold, hot temperature, cool air blast from moving (?)
window.
-Trio of line drawings
Being upright, each line has its own p;ersonae-one stares, one is shy, and the
onther bashful and more outgoing than the rest..
-Forest- a one carriage train
Vedrtical firs with diiminshed cones
Sporadic mushroom families:
sptty red whites
Golden brown-ear like
Black charcoal-Big Mamma mushrooms!
The higher you go, the more their breeding!
-Changing beneath our soles paths + flilnt stones, all keeping one alert as each
footstep/paced is always new, treat each step to a new sensation.
-The delicious-ness of getting lost, is the map a real one, or made up?
Shall we just use our inner compass
-Inner tinglings of what if?...
What if lost here and no one found us?
-Progression of mist, ecstatic about the furry green moss carpet beneath my feet.
MIST,
for awhile I am ina medieaval forst on horse back. someone plays a lute, there
is an atomostphere of going to war, yet knowing the correct path
-meandering at full pace
The forset
no-other have I seen like this
Bohemia is a fitting title
-Body, shin bones tired, but no oregrets
Sensations, smells, food, warm faces all is in awe of the day and to come
_ _ _ _ _ _
THANK YOU
! To:
Milos the green monk in his celestial waterproofs
+
Frank V, the lithe Forest elf-in
at home in Mushroom Land!
(no initials signed)
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Day 3
After breakfast and frantic sadnwich/lunch making, a quick opening circle to ease the aches and pains from yesterday’s “long march” Curiousity about the day, and our newly recovered “voices”. Vladimir arrived, an employee-ranger from the Sumava Natural Preserves in full regalia, but quickly explained that his ranger get-up was mostly to eliminate any possible confusion while we were out in protected areas. His sincere apology for his English unnecessary as his English was good, and our Czech certainly non-existent. We piled into 3 cars- but frist a stop to a typical boakery inhab ited molstly by men in bicycle-riding suits who seemed bemused to see this rag-a-muffin group of travelers traipsing into the bakery.
After about 1/2 hour drive we arrived at the village of Mondravia and the head of our trail into this part of the reserve. Vladimir explained that there were 3 different regions- the core region, which is untouched and the bio-diversity is slowly being re-established, the second are, which is “managed” and trees re-introduced by man, and the ther third area, open to the public. Our trip would take us into the core area and the managed area.
We started our hike, and after about 45 minutes we stopped and did our first location exercise. This was really a turning point. We made a circle, shoes off, and each person walked a straight line our for 10 minutes, navigating when necessary. Then we turned around with closed eyes, and walked back. Vladimir participated without hesitation. The sensatations beneath the feet were magnificent. The earth beneath proved yielding and forgiving. That which began sharp and uneven, gave way to soft and giving. The changes of temperature betgween wet, dry, brittle, stoney, earthen, gave back much information to the whole body and the “unknown” became comfortable. Getting back to original places in the circle obviously not the real goal of this exercise.
Afterwards we tlaked about our expereince with our partne from the day before yesterday-”Sensation” work. Because my partner had left the group, Vladimir was my partner, and his experience doing this exercise most moving. Ke knows this forset so well, probably planted many of the trees, or cleared the pather, but this was the first time he had experienced the earth barefooted, eyes closed, like this. I think then he knew how special this day would be for us all.
I’m in a bind now-too much to write too many sensations and experiences:
the taste of pure cold spring water
the amazing red color of the acidic water from the morass
walking through the forbidden area
the tree cemetary--which seems desolate and destroyed, but is actually full of
new life and growth.
wak through the morass area, mushroom picking, blueberries, raspberries, Bag of
Bones in a beautiful meadow.
JG
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vladimir.
the biggest national park in CR
at the heart of Europe
he leads us into the core zone
the heart of the heart
(drawing)
cemetary
skeletal
my
spine
layed
out
shiny. bleached
and they died
for want of H2O
which
my feet
discover
is in great
abundance
here in these stretched
and still
soft and soft. layered
airy wettness
Bark Beetle bores
through the bark
deep into the
dark
heart
of the tree
and puts holes
in these water carrying
vessels
the circulatory system
breaks down
no way for water
from down here to up there
and so in your heart
there is this paradox
I want to be so still here
nested amongst
the bones of
the embryonic
forest
this forest explodes
through my feet
I move from fest of perforation
to exhiliration in the sense
of this intricate organism
folding around me
opening
if there were wolves in
these woods.
so little wildness
this core zone. to be left. managed by
observation. To watch and walk. There are other
processes to be remembered here.
take out the middle path. realign. I re-member this. These severed parts of me.
(No initials-but I believe Meredith)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CARME
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day 4 Thursday 15.9.2005
I
put up a tent I got from Milos. Good one. It's big with plastic floor.
It's nice to sleep in it (in a good sleeping bag) through this chilll while
the rain drops are drumming on.
We
had a dinner. We had what we picked from our altogether pot. I picked a piece
of bread with something like usual. After we started our trip over rail bridge,
around black cross towards a foot bridge over to Studena. There we got on with
our first exercise. Milos asked us to observe piece of ground or rather (water?),
in every detail for about 10 minutes and after we had to say a word that came to
our minds from this experience. I examined a piece of grass, a jungle after
strong winds, with gigantic stable drops of water on a very thin dry grass.
There were pieces of stems, seeds spread along the dark brown ground
farther away. Tall trees that were probably once forty meters high still
give this impression. Old stout trees. its impossible that people can build
such a high slim, strong and flexible pole with so many structures around.
I don‚t know but maybe blindfolded we painted this experience.
After we continued up hill on the forest path. Sarka reminded me now that we
had to relax the muscles in our face and she observed me.Perhaps I did it. But
I felt that the muscles in my face are connected over the back of the head, and
back of the neck with the back muscles. We stood and when my head fell in front
these muscles were pulling me, So in the second phase I stood with mild
backward bend, so by that i got my muscles in my face relaxed onboth sides and
after I observed Sarka.
Then
we had to relax and look into the nothingness to empty our minds. When our
partner knocked our shoulder we had to spit out a work. We spit out syllables.
It was as if into me another someonw threw a piece of a little stone, so my
first word was bleeeeee, following with a ahoj, ano and kmore, teda. kdeby.
Afterwards we talked about it.
Afterwards we had to choose a name of someong in the group, I chose Nikki, and
observed her walking. The next day it turned out the NIkki chose me. Nikki has
a long, very stron step, good shoes. Her body sits as if on a strong pelvis.
And again the path and my feet and legs are suffering in these hard boots. This chapel lays in a a dark primeval forest, in a dark atmosphere, by dark rock. On the top of the rock, we are looking at the view and painting it on the head of our partner. I work with Gretel and afterwards we change. After me and Nikki paint the view.
From this chapel we go path and no path, no path. in a bush, through
nettles, over the much, brooks, forests, grass, down without a path, almost in the dark. MY boots are untieing and there somewhere i overstretch my achilles tendon, and after all we get to the path and a bigger path and after 3 or 4 km and my legs are painful but I go. And here we are in our valley and i am terribly tired. And now food and no meditation, too tired, and people have energy to make fire and drink wine and Gretel is talking about her doctoral work. FIre brought last drops of energy so I am listening, it can be quite interesting, but I am hurrying to sleep in a tent (from Milos) and the night is sweet.
Tomas
ending with a line drawing
by tomas
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
00:00 Saturday 5th day
Everybody is sleeping. Anita decides to take a nice warm bath, finally. In the morning we (Laura and Anita) were joking about the bathroom: it looked like a jail-bath, a place to dance in, a hand that come from that little window (drawing).. at 00:00 I knocked on the door, Anita locked herself insid the bath-room and now can’t open again. The key was coming out tothe otherside as it belonged to another door- I walked out the (drawing of house) and pulled my (drawing of a hand) inside the bathroom through the (drawing of window). I took the key and went back to the front door of the bathroom. I managed FINALLY to open the door- Anita pulled the tap out, emptierd the bathe ahd got off. (drawing of a smiling person) What would have happened if I was not awaken? Anita all night alone in that bathroom. I would have definitely danced the place.
But coming to the beginning of the day: today was for most/everyone a turming
page, a surfing the wave, a unfolding, a being present/empty... the silence of
the two ofirst days, and all the walk and practice we’ve had been doing until
today have ben
en a preparation/ a cleaning ourself from noise to connect to a flowing/deep/slow/level
(drawing) walk backwards in the woods for 15 min. after with closed eyes
turning the body 180
degrees-taking the shoes of and
exploring r
the area beeing part of the place.
(drawing of stable) STABLE EXPERIENCE
Sleeping during 15 min, after moving slowly for 45 min, change from: controlled movement and uncontrolled movement.
I realized that opening the eyes and keeping an (Internal) fixed point, while obseving the roof end walk of the house, led me to a deep/strong emotionalstate (which didn’t happen with eyes closed)
It was actually feeling as an ant upside down, molving the arms and legs and
head for no reason, just moving
as a creature-
observing the landscape and shouting a word to it- the 1st word
that came to mind
words towards the landscape
it was like hearing the echo echo echo
of the word/the sound/your voice. An interaction with the landscape-talking
with it.
leaving
our clothes
to the side
to feel
the nature
directly
to
our
naked
skin
comfort
and
home
Back to the stable
to draw on a big long paper on the floor- what we just felt in the woods naked.
Observing the other was really interesting and I really understoo then- the flow
from
landscape
body
thought drawing
LAURA
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
17-9-20005
It was raining all night and all day. This is not summer anymore. On the way from Jeleni jezero we practiced walking backward: 30 minutes with rigid eyes- feeling of flying- the road started to run under my feetlike when we were kids running on long water pipes until we got dizzy from the twinkling water pipes under our feet.
Cold and wind are going through my body and taking my power. I am broken after one week of lack of sleep. Its unknown weakness that is not connected with mental weakness because the atmosphere is great.
Further away we went the view opened beautifully with granite stones on a high plain.
(Petra?)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am doing a small research.. could you remember at the lake we have been today?
Jeleni jezero? Could you write words here, Somewhere...
ZRB
together
loud silence
SURPRISE
belong to
Lift to God
SECRET
NECESTA
DAVKA/
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
17 September-05 (ANITA T)
1) (drawing of people walking backwards up hill, with house with tomas to the
side)
-Walking Backwards for 20 minutes. keep head aligned and eyes centered,
focus on periphery. Eyes closed.
2) Own research on walking In pairs try own research re walking the
landscape
examples:
A (drawing)
A walks (eyes closed)
B places finger on different part of spine
Aim:
can use finger to guide, give sensation, draw attention to specific
B (drawing)
Head down or up, partner supports head from side (walk together)
-observe how this effects walking and pelvic alignment etc
C(drawing)
SIDE WALKING (eyes closed)
A walks with pelvis facing direction of walking, spine is twisted so shoulders
keep position of centre line through body
Partner supports with hands at shoulders and add firm pressure,(slight
resistance stretching).
Prepare with small finger pressure at different points beside spine,
Purpose:
To increase awareness and mobility to lower
spine, and alignment of pelvis whilst walking.
D (drawing)
Partner places hands on front of hip bones-try different kinds of pressure also
by partner pushing against hands in forward direction (resistance stretching)
Also try walking at distance behind partner-belt at hips (Like Noh walking)
- Experiment with guiding direction of walk and assisting partner for awareness of hip alignment when walking. Experiment with different ways of “holding” and supporting hips, and notice effect of sloping path and gradients on hip alignment and action of leg movement in walking.
WALK
3 (drawing of lake)
Milos Lake Jeleni Jezirko
(drawing)
contolled uncontrolled
(super computer mode)
Sun 18/9/05
DAY 8
One poignant example from day:
ROLLING EXPLORATION with paper tucked in waist and 1 piece of charcoal in constant contact with paper (15 min) Try to integrate slope of landscape
gravity
draws
instead of
Brain
creatures
surprise
resistance
betwen drawing
point + rolling action
every landing a new island
small territories
autonomous
Anita T
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(FROM THE BACK OF THE BOOK,- quick observations?)
-from 1st session day 1: (ANITA)
“Collecting Sensation”
Neck,
stick rolling. can’t go far,... takes a space behind the head, that is difficult
to visualize-how long does it go behind?- Does it favour the volume at the back
of the front- indeed does it move by itself-has it seen something that makes it
move? Is the ground it falls on rocking too?
Does the gound have millions of tiny mouths that are also open to collect
sensation?
-Different size sticks have different rhythms of sensation.
Re:Bag of Bones
Some
are anxious for end gain, often lifted up before they are ready-let it be
organic-the lift works when it comes from a natural position of shifts of weight-willing
from the receiver, it should be effortless in the giver’s body too.
-Listen to signals of other givers (manipulators!) working with them and
challenging their habitual dynamics too.
-It works when givers are breathing in co-ordination with receiver’s breath-then
conversation is a 2 way release
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-feeling the surface of the ground. mosses, stones, needles...on my skin-in my
mind-it ‘s like a print to my soul. forever
-it is always possible that the forest will show its strong site (?) if you
will not listen to him(it’s)
-to not speak, to not see, helped me to feel more the place and surrounding
-to speak about your experiences helped me to understand to it more
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Can you det a capuccino around here?
-Chocolate?
1st exploration of Barn
with
slow speeds; controlled(computer mode) + uncontrolled movements-
felt and older soul took over, she was in hiding being dragged by her pevis, a
woman hair tied in bun +hands thaty needed contact with the ground for
support---post 2nd world war--- She had not been there long. Diaphram released
+the breath moved by itself-in involuntary way.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Surely the “training” can be the sensory work?
-the experiential practice develops the physicality necessary to do it...
speech
is, in some ways, like another “sense”
vision
is perhaps something other more than a “sense”
>both speech and vision overwhelm, and therefore dull, the other senses.
I had a lovely time opening a window feeling the cold damp air-reaching out with my upper body, sensing lower body still inside, then very slowly swapping my upper + lower body parts in transition through the window-like the 2 hands opening and closing at once, ending with my toes feeling the rain drops as they reached out the window...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
empty thought
bag of bones
deeper silence
Comment:
In typing this, I am attempting as much as possible to retain the original form, in terms of capital/non -capital letters. paragraphs, punctuation, and use of abbreviations or symbols (i.e. &), and the visual layout as much as I could. In some cases I corrected spelling errors, but tried to keep the syntax of the sentences. I also indicated where there were drawings. A -------line indicates the end of one person’s writing. There are a f ew times that I couldn’t quite deciphir what was written so I made an educated guess and put a (?)
Jodi
(ZRB= petra)